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I realize at 28 I'm not as smart or together as I thought I was. This is a sobering realization. I think.

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The Jackass Chronicles

Sometimes I really hate our country

In some sort of cosmic joke, both of the geographically unavailable men are going to be geographically available one after the other the next two weekends. While this is an exciting prospect, a few things have changed.

The Canadian�we ceased emailing and I got all snooty about him blowing me off. Turns out it was my company�s scrubbers being set to Super Insanely Tight w/r/t Emails thanks to the sobig viruses and whatnot. He thought I was snubbing him b/c I didn�t respond. So he�s going to be here this weekend and I would love to see him but that might make me feel weird since I sort of am seeing someone now and I think I like this guy a lot. Granted nothing�s happened with the new guy but I would sort of feel like I was cheating on him or something. I am a psycho.

The Guy In California�after much flirting via email and the phone lines, I am going to visit him. For fun. Not work or anything. Just to go see him and hang out. I am more than a little nervous. There�s nothing worse than getting stuck with someone you don�t want to hang out with for more than 1 day. Worse comes to worse, I can bail and get a hotel or something. I guess I am still traumatized from the time I met my French pen pal of 8 years and he was a complete looney who straddled me while I read Dickens and told me not to make him wait another 8 years. That was hands down the most embarrassed I�ve ever been in my life. This kid was Pepe Le Pew personified and I am not joking. Add into the fact he was about 4 feet tall, never had had a drink in his life and was obsessed with Wilson Phillips and Jennifer Aniston (�Ehh-neee-stahn)

Work has been super annoying but the upside is that I am 90% done with the work that�s been hanging over my head since my birthday now. I feel like the fog has finally lifted and I feel so much better. I started thinking about how lucky I was that I hadn�t been molested or anything by my brother and hopefully he�ll get the help he needs and maybe someday I�ll be able to face him again. Thanksgiving should be great this year. Why are families so fucked up? Humans are such solitary creatures yet we continually throw these constructed prisons and shackles on ourselves. I don�t know that I�ll ever be able to stay married to one man for the rest of my life. HOW ANNOYING WILL THAT BE?

Don�t even get me started on the Cubs and this partial birth ban. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

I hope the bill sponsor�s daughter has to go to a back alley �doctor� for an abortion and he has to use a coat hanger or switch and wrecks her insides forever. Or his wife is dying on delivery table and because he said �it is never medically necessary to perform a partial birth abortion� she dies a painful, excruciating death or becomes infertile or whatever just because this guy is complete asshole who deserves to rot in hell for thinking he knows more than doctors who have been doing procedures for years and years. Go to Senate website and read the absolutely skewed and biased bullshit that actually got into the bill. If I tried to write a report like this at work I would get laughed out of the building.

Sorry for yelling.