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I realize at 28 I'm not as smart or together as I thought I was. This is a sobering realization. I think.

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The Jackass Chronicles

Tardpants Goes Down

You may be the most selfish, self-absorbed person I've ever met. You hide it well--it took me a while to really see it.

But when I break my wrist and you tell me, "but I just found a parking spot", or when I have the worst day at work ever, you whine about your upset stomach from Newcastle beer; or when you get so hungover that you completely ruin a concert I had been looking forward to for months, it's time to go.

I don't ask for much. A hug here or there. A kiss every once in a while. A "hey, how was your day?" would be nice.

I'm tired of watching you yell at the TV and asking me what you should get for dinner.

I need a vacation in the worst way.