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I realize at 28 I'm not as smart or together as I thought I was. This is a sobering realization. I think.

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The Jackass Chronicles

Well, the Cubs blew it. Way to drop 7 of your last 9 games against the METS and the REDS. Pathetic. I'm beginning to think that Alou and Sosa are clubhouse poison. No one will ever nibble at Sosa's contract. We'll have to shell at least 12 million to get him off the roster. I'm not ready to throw him under the train, though. He has carried this franchise through some bad, bad years and made it worth watching. From 1997 to now, we owe Sammy for a lot of our notoriety and excitement and in general, good times. But now he's got to suck it up, come back next season, get 100 RBIs, hit better than .257 and go out like the champ I know he is capable of being.

That being said, Moises, beat it. You're old. You're whiny. You're bad for the team. I don't care about your career high 39 homers. Yes, I cheered for you and prayed that you would make that catch, but your demeanor down the stretch was truly appaling. Smell you later.

I watch Plays Of The Day and wonder why we don't have young guys in the field willing to get concussions and run into walls to make plays. Our guys weren't hungry enough this year. We need some of those guys to back up Corey in the outfield. And while I'm in Fantasyland, can we get some guys who actually know what to do when they're on base instead of running/not running like they're drunkards?

And Wendell Kim has got to go.

Closers? If LaTroy had converted his 9 blown saves (yes, NINE) we may have made it. Farny? Poor, poor Farny. He's the Curtis Joseph of baseball--always a hero or a zero and unfortunately, he was a zero for much of his alcohol-soaked season. Love the hair though!

I hope the Cubs scouts are out scouring for closers and outfielders.

And hey Boston? We want Mueller and Bellhorn back. You can have Nomar and Todd "I always look like I'm at the end of a 3 day coke bender" Walker back, okay?

Kisses.